Most idiots have been looking at this issue all wrong—except for me.
I simply wish to drink through straws made from the bones of the wealthy. Strong, durable, calcium-supplementing. Also the production process is *chef's kiss*
I didn’t realize I was missing these wild Hamilton Nolan takes.
Why can't we just make straws out of sugar like the Fun Dip sticks, so that they dissolve into deliciousness?
I want a metal straw of the finest steel available. I want it forged by a man with a hammer, anvil, and enormous beard. Ideally he'll have carved some runes in it that spell out 'Suction' as a blessing to ensure maximum straw effectiveness. I will use this straw until I die, and my descendants shall bear it as an heirloom of my house.
I WILL DIE TO PROTECT OUR GOD GIVEN RIGHTS AS AMERICANS JUST LIKE THAT GIRL AT COLUMBINE WHO SAID "YES" WHEN THEY ASKED IF HER LUNCH HAD ANY SINGLE USE PLASTIC ITEMS
i would pay $69 just for this post
am i the only one who would rather just forgo the straw and drink directly from the cup?
Make All Straws Twizzlers: My column
Who is using straws anyway? The only people who should use straws are:
2) People with disabilities or medical challenges
3) People who are trying to seduce others with what we in the biz call "mouth stuff"
The powerful Straw Lobby has been blocking research on this for years. Thank you for speaking out.
I always assumed there was some reason people latched into straws specifically, like because of their size they’re easier for sea turtles to eat maybe? If that’s not the case then the straw thing is even more dumb than I realized.
This is not simply a good take, it is the one take that could save us all. Thank you for your service!
I actually love this, because as a disabled person one of the many problems with plastic straw bans are that they are actually vitally necessary for many disabled people to be able to, you know, drink liquid and not aspirate. But I don't think the same problem exists for cups -- I could be wrong, but I know many people who have used plastic straws to drink coffee out of paper cups due to disability, and I think that in general disabled folks w/accessibility barriers to using paper cups tend to bring their own cups with them, given that many drinks are sold in paper cups.
can't they make the paper straws out of the waxy paper they use for the cups? seems like they're always using raw, spongy, matte paper.
Fuck, this is actually a great idea.
Wonderful development! I'm glad those who still live in a world where they drink things are dealing with this. When y'all join me in my post-liquid world, we can get down to business.