Here's Who's Trying to Kill Me This Week

A motley crew of lawmakers, apparatchiks, and at least one Florida hypnotist.

Photo by Heritage Art/Heritage Images via Getty Images

As a (relatively) young, and (relatively) healthy person, I don’t often think about my own mortality. I may not have the “I’m gonna live forever!” fire that fueled some of my dumber escapades as a teen, but for the most part, the looming specter of death just doesn’t play a significant role in my day-to-day life. At least, it didn’t until this week, when a series of largely unrelated state and federal developments combined to remind me that my early demise is getting more and more plausible with each passing day.

Are you ready to meet this week’s villains? Oh boy. Let’s go.