18 Comments
Sep 25, 2020Liked by Jack Crosbie

I've thought about this before (not specifically to the Ring version) and I truly believe smashing a drone out of the air would be an unbelievably satisfying experience.

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What was the casting call for that ad? "Knockoff Skinny Pete from Breaking Bad?"

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speaking of unquestioned mass adoption of surveillance technology into personal homes, every time I hear a SimpliSafe commercial, I cannot fathom anyone other Karen choosing to buy it. They literally boast about how quick they can get the cops to your house -- "Every home at some point faces danger. Our job is to snuff it out. Our 24/7 alarm monitoring is always there. Ready to alert police when your home needs help. Our industry leading monitoring service has won numerous awards. We’re proud of that."

And the website says (read: brags) that the police WILL IMMEDIATELY BE DISPATCHED to your house unless you cancel the alert.

And then this nugget is just wild and disturbingly erotic-sounding -- "Cops love when an alarm is visually verified. It means the alarm is a) the real deal and b) in progress. And that means they are way more likely to catch the criminal."

this shit takes the worst parts of smart technology (i.e., unwarranted surveillance) and couples it with the PROMISE of immediate police presence at your house when the thing alerts some kind of vague alarm

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I live in one of the safest neighborhood in a big Midwestern city and I can tell you that the neighborhood groups on social media and what-not are absolutely filled with hysterical fear every time even the smallest crime occurs. People rifling through unlocked cars or taking bikes that are left on a front lawn overnight? WHY AREN'T THE POLICE DOING MORE!!!! EVERYONE SHOULD CARRY A GUN!!!

The number of outdoor security cameras that I see out on walks has risen dramatically. You know what hasn't risen? Discussion on how we, as a privileged neighborhood, can help increase the opportunities to disadvantaged individuals who live close by. They'd rather spend $250 on this shitty drone than $50 on helping feed kids who are starving or who don't have access to internet so they can do online classes right now.

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another good question: if you're seriously that worried about people breaking into your home and being unable to see what's going on, then why don't you just install cameras in every room in the house? the answer: because that's creepy (but somehow the drone isn't?).

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I have a security system because I don’t know why, but it breaks all the goddamn time. The motion detector gets overexcited when my curtains move and the door alerts go haywire at least once a week. I can imagine that a little flying drone working in conjunction would call the police and then assault a houseplant because the light reflected off the planter.

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also not sure if most people realize that quadcopters are LOUD AS FUCK and also crash like all the time. it will fuck up absolutely everything in your house that's not nailed down. Literally a tornado coming through. hilarious to me that people signed off on this

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I will collect the drones and they will fight each other for my amusement. will I make another drone film the action? who can say? (definitely yes, though)

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founding

Maybe home robberies are less because of security systems. But I'd smack a drone anyway.

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“Drone go quish now!” Jesus, I’m positively tumescent.

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Replacement camera drone shipped via delivery drone which can also be smacked out of the air, so we need some type of security drone for our drone delivery of the replacement drone.

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