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No More Fat Suits
Stop putting actors in them, ESPECIALLY Jared Leto.
I need you to immediately stop what you're doing and watch the new trailer for House of Gucci. Please, do it now, and waste no time. There will be time for questions after, many of which I have the answers to!
Yes, dear reader, as you can surmise, I needed you to immediately watch this trailer, partially because it looks like a bonkers film full of love and betrayal and mafia references, and most importantly because it features Lady Gaga leaning so far into her Italian heritage that she's fallen and cannot get up. As far as the promises in this trailer go, We Love It!!!
However, more pertinently for this blog, I also needed you to watch this trailer because it features a somehow both unconvincing and shocking Jared Leto in what is unmistakably a fat suit.
OK! Some questions you may have! Let's hear them:
What do you mean Jared Leto is in this trailer?
I mean he is absolutely in this trailer, flesh and blood, and in a fat suit.
But how can Jared Leto be in this trailer if I can't see him?
Because he is heavily disguised in facial prosthetics, a bald cap with a wig, and a fat suit that only took decades of modern filmmaking technology to look "natural enough" on the wearer and not completely obscene like every other fat suit that came before it. And also because the fat suit he's wearing is adding, at most, another 30 pounds, and isn't trying to make him look like some fat caricature of a person.
Oh god, that is him! But how can you be so sure that he's wearing a fat suit?
I know, I know! This was one of my first questions too — is Leto really wearing a fat suit, or is has he decided to become the most annoying version of himself and method act his way into a slightly fatter person's body?
Besides the fact that his eye sockets and brow still look visibly sharp/gaunt in the trailer, look no closer than Leto's visibly tendon-y and bony hands.
That is a great tell that someone is, indeed, wearing a fat suit (unless their hands are covered in "fat hand" prosthetics, in which case just fuck the fuck off). And why is that? Because, contrary to what fat suits imply, weight changes don't just happen in someone's torso or neck or, uhh, bottom of their face — if your weight changes, your hands will reflect that. And these hands are a dead giveaway.
Are you sure? Maybe he just didn't gain weight in his hands, and he really did gain weight for the role!?
Listen, I get it. Leto is exactly the kind of unbearable "artist" to do such a thing to star in a serious film, and then pat himself on the back for "daring to break boundaries" or something, because he has done something like this, multiple times before. But not this time.
So I couldn't just take the words of the entertainment bloggers over at Newsweek and The Independent that Jared Leto was wearing a fat suit. At Discourse Blog, we go deep on the big issues. I had to do my own very serious reporting to figure this one out! And by that I mean I did a bunch of googling to determine when the film was shot (in Italy, beginning sometime between early to mid-March, and ending early May), then went to Leto's Instagram page and compared his posts to a live-streamed interview he did during that time that's been uploaded to YouTube.
According to my very intense, scientific research, Leto definitely did not show any of this supposed weight gain during the filming period of House of Gucci. And if he magically gained and lost this weight in between each of these posts, then he's more powerful and deranged of a person than I thought he was.
Observe, from an Instagram post from March 11:
Also observe, an Entertainment Tonight interview from March 17, in which he's in the same outfit, and in the same setting. He also reveals that he's in Rome, filming House of Gucci! From the guy in a fat suit himself, folks:
And if that still doesn't convince you that he didn't gain weight for the role after this interview, or something, here's another interview from May during which Leto talks about sitting for five hours for "prosthetic" applications each morning of filming:
OK, so Leto wore a fat suit for the role of Paolo Gucci in House of Gucci. What about it?
It's messed up! And it's wrong! Because there are plenty of fat (or just not thin) actors out there that could have been cast for this role, and we didn't need to see Jared Leto in a goddamn fat suit to accomplish the job.
Really, if they wanted to cast a fat person, they could have done that, instead of following the industry standard of casting a thin or straight size person to wear a suit that makes them look only a little bit like a fat person but mostly like a thin person wearing several layers of pillows around their arms and torso, with some bad prosthetic covering their neck and face. But no, the people needed their Leto in a fat suit that badly!
I shouldn't have to point this out, but it's lazy, it's insulting, and it often reinforces negative and harmful stereotypes about fat people. It's especially insufferable that Leto of all people was put in a fat suit at all. Like, not this fucking guy!!
And also, not to take away from my point here, because regardless of circumstance fat actors should be able to play fat characters, but the guy Leto is supposed to be playing the role of looks, uhh, pretty not-fat-suit-sized to me!
At least, not the kind of fat suit that requires whatever fat prosthetic that Leto is wearing on his neck and face! But IDK, what do I know!
So, let me get this straight. Leto wore a fat suit for the role of Paolo Gucci in House of Gucci, and that is what is bothering you about his casting, but if he had just gained the weight for the role, that would have been fine?
No, no, that is beside the point! Fuck these self-righteous actors for thinking they're talented for gaining and losing weight for their roles! You're not an artist, you just have high metabolism and a lot of money!! Stop casting people in fat suits to play fat characters! Seriously what the fuck, we are far beyond this! I'm not screaming, you're screaming!! If you need me I'll be in my office, patiently waiting for Lady Gaga's press tour interviews to come out!!