Kevin McCarthy Is Literally the Last Person We Need to Hear From Right Now

Maybe someone can tell him that?

Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images

Have you ever looked at a problem and thought to yourself “you know what this needs? Some Kevin McCarthy”? Of course you haven’t. No one has. No one needs Kevin McCarthy. The universe hasn’t devised a situation yet in which “Kevin McCarthy” couldn’t be replaced by your average baboon to equal—if not more successful—effect. Kevin McCarthy is the ultimate political null, a being so devoid of any specific talent or forceful characteristic that you could probably switch him out for any fourth or fifth greying white member of the Republican congressional caucus without anyone even realizing for a few hours at least.

Someone, however, forgot to tell Kevin McCarthy this, because, astonishingly, just three seconds after being removed as speaker of the House, he is suddenly…trying to get his old job back.

Yes, you’re right, it is deranged. Maybe someone can tell him?