Got His Ass

ORANGE (jumpsuit) MAN BAD (at doing crimes)

Look how sad. (Seth Wenig-Pool/Getty Images)

First things first: This is all extremely funny.

Donald Trump, a man who has spent his entire adult life Getting Away With Things™ is now officially a convicted felon thirty-four times over, and the first former (future?) United States president in history to be officially designated a hardened criminal in the eyes of the law (as opposed to “in the eyes of this blog,” since we find pretty much all United States presidents to be scum-sucking criminals of various degrees).

Before we’re drowned in a deluge of CNN prognosticating and Axios-style punditry over what this all means???? let’s give ourselves a moment of grace and appreciate how unambiguously hilarious this whole thing is.

As someone who’s been on various iterations of the “Donald Trump, he’s a real nogoodnik!” beat for years now, believe me when I tell you: it’s important we take full advantage of this opportunity to laugh. We’ve earned it. Hell, go find the most cringe-inducing #resistance lib in your life, and give them a knowing nod or enthusiastic thumbs up. This is a rare opportunity for detente among the various factions, and we shouldn’t let it go to waste.

But this is a sad time, too. A time to think about what we’ve lost with Trump’s guilty verdict.