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Trump has COVID. I guess we're doing this!

Jack Mirkinson
Oct 2, 2020
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Some thoughts on….well.

  1. LOL.

  2. (Sorry.)

  3. (Wait, no, I’m not sorry, LOL.)

  4. This is Trump, and Hope Hicks, and Melania, and the whole Trump family, and the whole White House:

    Twitter avatar for @screaminbutcalm
    The Golden Sir @screaminbutcalm
    Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
    9:14 PM ∙ Mar 12, 2019
    94,358Likes27,533Retweets
  5. LOL.

  6. There are all these people who are like “Trump is faking it, it’s a big ploy, it’s a hoax, it’s a distraction, he’s lying so he can have a miraculous recovery,” which…I guess maybe? But it doesn’t really make much sense if you actually think about it. The guy has been trying for the entire year to tell us that COVID is not a big deal and that you don’t have to take any measures to protect yourself against it. Why would he suddenly then decide that it was a good idea to lie about getting the virus, inviting all sorts of criticism about his administration’s failures and lack of proper protocol and throwing the campaign into complete turmoil a month before Election Day? His whole thing is that he’s indestructible and that the virus is a hoax, so yeah, he’s definitely gonna lean into getting the virus now. Huh?

  7. According to the New York Times, the White House was trying to suppress even the news that Hope Hicks had tested positive. Now that I can believe.

  8. Not that the White House won’t now try to spin this. Here’s a fun sneak preview from Fox & Friends:

    Twitter avatar for @revrrlewis
    Bobby Lewis @revrrlewis
    Brian Kilmeade speculates that if Trump easily overcomes his covid infection, "doesn't that also send a message that you could say whatever you want in stats & graphs but I give you an example of somebody who's in that danger age of 74 who is out there, gets it, and beats it?"
    Image
    11:03 AM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    564Likes185Retweets

    This feels like the thing they will definitely try to say!

  9. There is absolutely no use speculating about whether Trump will die, whether he’ll recover, etc, etc. We don’t know! We know that he is at a higher risk due to his age and some other top-line stats. The latest reports are that he has “mild” symptoms. Beyond that, we don’t actually know that much about his health. We definitely know that he will get pretty much the finest medical care in the world, something a large portion of the roughly 208,000 people who have died from COVID-19 in the U.S. cannot say. But really, it’s OK to just…take this as it comes.

  10. There is also absolutely no use speculating about “what this will mean for the election.” Not to repeat myself but: WE DON’T KNOW. We don’t know! Weeee dooooooooon’’’’ttttt knooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww. It is fine not to know. It is healthy not to play pundit every waking minute of the day. Trump could ride a wave of sympathy. He could invite further rage about the contempt he has shown the country, and his recklessness when it comes to mask-wearing and social distancing. Some third thing could happen! Say it with me: we don’t know. In just the last two weeks Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, Trump’s taxes got released, Melania was caught on tape sounding extremely evil, and Trump got COVID, and there are still people out there pretending like they have any insight into where this is headed. Stop!

  11. A valiant effort, but swing and a miss.

    Twitter avatar for @KLoeffler
    Kelly Loeffler @KLoeffler
    Remember: China gave this virus to our President @realDonaldTrump and First Lady @FLOTUS.   WE MUST HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE.
    1:17 PM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    1,390Likes351Retweets
  12. This is not necessary. (Also, they included the screenshot so….they’re still relaying the message???)

    Twitter avatar for @washingtonpost
    The Washington Post @washingtonpost
    The Post has removed a tweet pictured below, which was written Thursday and released through an automated program, because the subsequent news of President Trump’s infection rendered it tasteless.
    Image
    7:03 AM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    11,520Likes2,418Retweets
  13. This is really not necessary.

    Twitter avatar for @maddow
    Rachel Maddow MSNBC @maddow
    God bless the president and the first lady. If you pray, please pray for their speedy and complete recovery — and for everyone infected, everywhere. This virus is horrific and merciless — no one would wish its wrath on anyone. We must get its spread under control. Enough.
    5:19 AM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    99,605Likes13,394Retweets

    All due respect, but Trump is a despicable person whose handling of the COVID crisis has helped plunge the U.S. into the deepest possible catastrophe, and who is only in this position because he and those around him brazenly flouted the health measures everyone else has been trying to follow. There are more than 200,000 people dead! Nobody has to pray for this piece of shit, and nobody has to feel sorry for him. (I will repeat most of this if Andrew Cuomo or Bill de Blasio get COVID.)

  14. What the fuck?

    Twitter avatar for @greenfield64
    Jeff Greenfield @greenfield64
    Does Biden suspend his campaign as Trump is quarantined? Is the White House failure to observe protocols a reason for Biden to continue his campaigning?
    6:03 AM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    2,531Likes307Retweets

    Does Biden suspend his campaign? He stops campaigning because his opponent is a stupid idiot who got the virus because he is a stupid idiot? What is Jeff huffing? Of course, Biden suspending his campaign is the type of Aaron Sorkin nonsense Biden would do, so let’s brace ourselves.

  15. Boy this just keeps going.

    Twitter avatar for @maggieNYT
    Maggie Haberman @maggieNYT
    BREAKING - Ronna McDaniel, the RNC chairwoman, tested positive for the coronavirus on Wednesday, multiple sources say. She has mild symptoms. She was last with POTUS last Friday and has been in Michigan since then.
    1:27 PM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    8,463Likes4,834Retweets
  16. “The memes have been good” — Katherine.

    Twitter avatar for @fendifataIe
    ren @fendifataIe
    barron trump:
    Image
    5:28 AM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    6,319Likes1,158Retweets
  17. Uh yeah don’t do this.

    Twitter avatar for @annamerlan
    Anna Merlan @annamerlan
    Please do not drink bleach even if the president literally goes on television and drinks bleach, a not-inconceivable thing he could do in the near future
    5:18 AM ∙ Oct 2, 2020
    118Likes16Retweets

Screenshot: NBC News

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Zach
Oct 2, 2020Liked by Jack Mirkinson

This might be my favorite meme so far that I've seen: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EjUzy8FVoAA431k?format=jpg&name=medium

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Quasar Funk
Oct 2, 2020

No matter what happens next, I experienced joy for a few minutes this morning. I have not experienced joy for so long. I do not remember the last time I experienced joy. I'm actually having chest pains.

Like, we all know that state lotteries are just a tax on the poor. We all know that buying a Powerball ticket is akin to lighting a five dollar bill on fire, and that the odds of winning are so microscopic that they're not even worth considering. But some people buy the ticket for the fun of the fantasy. The fleeting thought of "What if..." Seeing that first number or two match and thinking, "Oh my god, this could change everything, and life would no longer be a painful slow march of agony towards inevitable but welcome death..."

That's what it felt like for five minutes this morning. For five minutes this morning I had the first two numbers of the Powerball drawing. I know that the rest of the numbers won't match, but motherfucker, I. FELT. JOY.

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