Man, What The Hell? Burn After Reading Edition

Plus pigs, punks, and property!

Can you believe it’s only been a week — seven measly days! — since Donald Trump announced that he’d tested positive for COVID-19? Time certainly flies when our already uncanny valley existence slides even further toward total anarchic farce. Since then, we’ve seen the president abruptly hospitalized, abruptly released, abruptly short of breath in a biza…