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How Kind of Space Force to Remind Us That It Exists and Is Stupid
New uniforms are here, and they are rigoddamneddiculous.
If there's a single upshot to former President Donald Trump's catastrophic four years in office, it's the creation of his vaulted "Space Force" — a wholly unnecessary expansion of the United States military that has nevertheless brought me hours of joy and delight simply for being a rigoddamneddiculous exercise in industrial-scale sci-fi convention cosplay.
Look at these dress blues, revealed today at the Air Force Association's Air, Space, and Cyber Conference:
Ignore the kinda-sorta Star Trek rip-off, and the obvious comparisons to Battlestar Galactica and Starship Troopers' keen sense of dystopian fascion for a moment, and instead zero in on what's really important here.
Computer... enhance (science fiction reference):
How the orbiting fuck is the U.S. planning to assert its military dominance in the inky blackness of the galactic void if it can't even sew trousers that fit?
Oh, and there's also this video showcasing the force's "physical training uniforms," (currently undergoing "wear testing") which by the looks of it are just a t-shirt and some basic gym shorts. Truly inspiring.
Speaking of inspiring, the Space Force also unveiled its "Guardian Ideal and Space Force values" during Tuesday's conference presentation.
"At the heart of the Guardian Ideal is the commitment between the leader and the led, founded upon our core values of Character, Connection, Commitment, and Courage,” Chief of Space Operations Gen. John W. “Jay” Raymond explained. “These values guide who we are and how we conduct our mission. They will unite and sustain us as we grow together as one interconnected force." What does this mean? I don't know. Does it make me feel excited and confident about the future of space warface? It sure doesn't.
This has been a reminder that Space Force remains a real thing that real people are really working on. Zoom!