The Noxious Fumes of Manhattan's Legal Weed Are A Blight On Society
Uh oh, stinky!!!
There is no city in our nation like New York City. It is both monumental work of collective art by every person who lives in it and the perfect blank canvas for everyone who lives outside of it to project their hopes, dreams, insecurities, and fears onto. It is everything you want it to be always, and as such, often inspires some of the most electrifying public thought and written prose in our great interconnected salon of ideas.
To wit, weedie really stiiiinkeeeeyyyy!!!!!!
This is it: the last example of our nation’s collective moral rot, one tiny indignity that serves as a straw that could break our heavily laden cultural camel’s back. The stench and smell, the miasma of uncouth behavior made corporeal in the form of smoke from the devil’s lettuce. Above all else we must think of the children.
You cannot! You cannot tell the children not to do drugs. Not in this climate of noxious fumes, permeating through every street from Midtown to SoHo. You cannot simply tell your young inquiring minds who may ask “daddy what is that smell” that the smell is marijuana is like cigarettes and alcohol, something that adults take sometimes but that’s not too good for them in the long run so you should wait to try it. You cannot say this. In fact if you say this on the street you will be swarmed, as the smoke has ears and it is listening. It will find you. It will obscure the windows of your vehicle and your house and fill your eyes until they stream with tears. Uh oh!!! Stinky!!!!!!
What we need here is a fundamental shift in American culture. I have said it before on this blog. Weed must be banned, if only because it is tacky and cringe, unlike the delicate and sophisticated issue of the fairer continent (France), the noble hand-rolled cigarette.
But never fear. To be clear I do not judge these people personally. No Man is Without Sin. It was invigorating for me to see this perspective so succinctly rendered today.
Yes! Yes! What we need here is to be serious. Clearly, a society in which weed, the lettuce of the devil, the flower of sin, the brush of barbarity, is freely bought and sold in the public square has devolved into previously unseen realms of absurdity! One might even find that people who are stoned have rendered themselves incapable of complex thought, perhaps even to the point in which they cannot read essays in the foremost publication of intellectual rigor of our times, The Atlantic! To think! The horror! Stinky!!!!!!!!!
Gawd what a fucking herb!
Anybody who uses “think of the children” as a serious argument should be immediately mocked in perpetuity.
Can we as a society just cancel Thomas Chatterton Williams? We would all be better off with these thoughts contained somewhere else, and Williams might just spontaneously orgasm from the sheer righteous indignity, which he could share with his Cancel Cell-mates, Bari Weiss and Jordan Peterson.