This morning, when I woke up and rolled out of bed, I was blissfully unaware of former New York Times opinionista Nick Kristof’s career as a vintner and winemaker. I miss that feeling.

Instead, mere hours later, I am now not only painfully aware that the man who quit his job telling people What He Thinks About Things only to hilariously flop at actually Actually Doing Things is, indeed, in the wine (and cider) business, but I’m absolutely flummoxed by it. That’s because Kristof is publicly talking about it in the worst way possible.