Who Is the New Henry Kissinger?

Our top evil villain is dead. Now we need someone to replace him.

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Readers, we need your help. The death of Henry Kissinger has left a void in our hearts, a hole previously filled with righteous hatred for one man who we all saw as the ultimate avatar of a century's worth of American sins. Now that the devil has been banished to hell, we have the freedom to choose a new target for our collective ire.

So, we ask you: who should it be?

It’s not as though we’re short on options, but there are many things to weigh. The person should ideally be both a) evil, b) annoyingly long-lived, and c) still an actively bad influence.

There are clear villains like Stephen Miller, but is he too young? who sadly appear to have many years yet on earth. George W. Bush is an obvious option, given the magnitude of his crimes, but has he faded too much into the background? Donald Trump is another good answer, but his current prominence in American politics places him in a slightly different pantheon to Kissinger, who lurked and lingered for decades in positions of little real power but high relevance and influence among the elite.

The proper successor to Kissinger, in my opinion, is someone with a uniquely destructive and violent political record whose actions have inspired evil acts by American politicians years after they left power. It should be someone conceivably close to death’s door but unwilling to cross it. Think Jimmy Carter, but supremely evil instead of placidly boring. Other candidates—Ronald Reagan, Donald Rumsfeld, Margaret Thatcher—have already passed, though they would also have been great to put on the big deathwatch board in our minds.

Here’s what we need from you: suggestions, comments, questions—not concerns, as we’re not concerned for any of these people. The opposite, in fact. So sound off in the comments, or email us at hello@discourseblog.com, with your ideas for The New Henry Kissinger.

Ideally, we’d do this once a week—if only because our current Crowned Kissingers happily shuffled off this mortal coil that frequently. But alas, if ol’ Henry is any indication, this title may last some time. So choose carefully. We’ll be back to announce the winner soon, with an in-depth justification of why we think they deserve all the ill wishes of our modest subscriber base.

It took a lot to take down Kissinger, so we might as well start sending out the bad vibes to the next deserving villain now.