2022 Is the Biggest Year of the 2024 Election Cycle

There are effectively two incumbents, both of whom have a very good chance of completely falling apart before they get a chance to run.

Wally Skalij/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images

It is the summer of 2022, and the eyes of the world are on the hottest election cycle in the United States — the 2024 presidential race.

Sure, sure, there are also midterms this year, which could upend the current balance of legislative power and give a fascist theocrats a powerful majority ahead of 2024, but let’s be real: does anyone really care about midterms? Signs point to no:

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PETE TIME BAYBAYYYY!!!!! Here we gooooooo!!! You may wonder why Pete Buttigieg, our plucky young Transportation Secretary with big-ticket dreams, is the latest hopeful to go absolute sicko mode and openly start campaigning for a presidential slot (sorry, “exploring” is the word they’ll probably start using in a few months). If you’ve been following the Republicans, there are somewhere around 10 of them currently doing this: chief among them Ron DeSantis, but also Mike Pence, Mike Pompeo, Liz Cheney, Nikki Haley, et cetera, et cetera. So why is everyone going little piggy freak mode? There’s a very easy answer: the unambiguous heads of both major parties are old as dirt and basically coming apart at the seams. It’s a free-for-all! It’s a succession crisis! It is maybe even a parallel to the hit HBO show Succession. Or to make a more topical reference, this is like if HBO’s new hit show House of the Dragon had two ailing kings and even more intensely boring and potentially evil heirs! Isn’t this so much fun!

I mean, look at the kind of stuff these people are putting themselves through. Mike Pence, for instance, went to the Iowa State Fair in pouring rain in order to campaign for incumbent Sen. Chuck Grassley, of all people, who is in his most competitive race since 1980 (he’s still ahead by eight points). That gave us these photos, and also the news that someone shouted “Go Home!” to Pence while he spoke with Grassley.

Scott Olson/ Getty

Look at these two dorks. Man. Why are you there, Pence? Come on. Last weekend I went to Pittsburgh to see Ron DeSantis talk at a Doug Mastriano rally, a truly cursed sentence if I’ve ever written one, but that’s where we’re at: all these guys are popping all over the country, ostensibly to engage with 2022, but really because they think they should be president. Here’s a photo of DeSantis throwing hats into the crowd.

Jack Crosbie

This is freak stuff! We all know what you’re doing!

Wouldn’t it be refreshing for these guys to just say it. Honestly, if Pete were to come out and say “Biden is old as dirt and the Democratic Party isn’t sure they’re going to be able to juice him enough to get through another election cycle, let alone four more years in office after his first term ends, so I’m starting to raise my national profile now in order to be his successor,” I’d have to respect it. You can’t really expect any Republican to do that because Trump is a psychotic egomaniac and they’re afraid of him, but it’s at least fun to think about! Just be honest! It’s 2024 time and the midterms are just a means to an end! Will Biden keep enough power in the legislature to maybe pass another kinda-useful bill in the latter two years of his power that gives Pete and co something to run on? Maybe, but who cares — they’re running anyway. Have fun in Congress, nerds — if anyone needs me I’m making a beeline for some Midwest state fair, too. At least there’s funnel cakes.