Discourse Blog

Discourse Blog

Share this post

Discourse Blog
Discourse Blog
Oatmeal Is Tearing Us Apart
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
User's avatar
Discover more from Discourse Blog
A daily politics, media criticism, and culture newsletter from the left. Worker-owned, subscriber-supported, and free from corporate influence. Est. 2020.
Over 22,000 subscribers
Already have an account? Sign in

Oatmeal Is Tearing Us Apart

Civil war has broken out because some people like oatmeal and some other people are wrong.

Samantha Grasso's avatar
Samantha Grasso
Oct 16, 2020

Share this post

Discourse Blog
Discourse Blog
Oatmeal Is Tearing Us Apart
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
Share
Screenshot via discourseblog/Twitch; Photo via TheCulinaryGeek/Flickr; Remix by Samantha Grasso

I have never regretted starting an independent, worker-owned publication with seven of my coworkers. So far it's gone tremendously well! We have a community of people who support and actively engage with us, and we just launched this beautiful website.

At least, I had no regrets until last night, when a troubling conflict arose between myself and three of my colleagues. Now, I'm questioning everything.

The subject of this fight? Oatmeal.

I enjoy oatmeal. I really do, because it's a filling breakfast you can't really fuck up. You boil it on the stove, let it sit, scoop it into your bowl, sprinkle some brown sugar over it, and voilà. You have yourself a cheap, easy meal. Some folks like their oatmeal savory, which I gladly embrace and encourage. To each their own, oatmeal for us all.

Over the past few days, however, some members of the Discourse Blog squad have revealed themselves to be anti-oatmeal. Not just neutral, or "oatmeal for thee, but not for me," but completely slanderous of oatmeal (as well as its brother in grains, pasta).

Twitter avatar for @jscros
Jack Crosbie @jscros
made oatmeal for breakfast and it fucking sucks. feel like no one is talking about this. big oats got to y'all
3:45 PM ∙ Oct 13, 2020
660Likes10Retweets

This schism within the Discourse Blog staff further manifested during our Thursday night town hall on Twitch, during which I was told by three people I had previously admired and trusted that oatmeal is "pretty bad" and takes "fourteen" steps to make (patently false), and that, somehow, making eggs for breakfast was easier. Do you not use salt, or pepper, or even cheese, in your egg-making processes, sirs? Have you no seasoning?

To make matters worse, my pro-oatmeal comrades, staff and readers alike, had been banished to our (subscriber-only) Discord chat, and though they cheered me on from the sidelines, they were unable to verbally counter these bad faith attacks. I was alone, but strong I remained. I have always prided myself for speaking up for those relegated to the margins of society, and last night's town hall was no exception.

I am shaken. But I'm not ready to give up. The anti-oatmeal establishment backed by Big Egg must be brought to heel.

Perhaps my anti-oatmeal colleagues are simply stuck in the instant oats of yesterday. Please, Discourse Blog community, tell us where you stand on the oatmeal fight. Give us your opinions, your recipes, and hell, I'd be a hypocrite if I wasn't willing to engage with your alternatives. Help me, and show my colleagues that a better world is possible.


Subscribe to Discourse Blog

Thousands of paid subscribers
A daily politics, media criticism, and culture newsletter from the left. Worker-owned, subscriber-supported, and free from corporate influence. Est. 2020.

Share this post

Discourse Blog
Discourse Blog
Oatmeal Is Tearing Us Apart
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
Share

Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Bari Weiss Is Full of Shit
Her big trans panic story turned out to be nonsense, just like everything else she does.
Mar 2, 2023 â€¢ 
Katherine Krueger
304

Share this post

Discourse Blog
Discourse Blog
Bari Weiss Is Full of Shit
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
5
CNN's Disgraceful Propaganda
This segment from Dana Bash on the Palestine protest movement is one of the most shameful things I have ever seen on cable news.
May 2, 2024 â€¢ 
Jack Mirkinson
136

Share this post

Discourse Blog
Discourse Blog
CNN's Disgraceful Propaganda
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
55
No Hell Is Hot Enough for Joe Biden
I hope he’s faced with the horror he’s wrought when judgment comes to meet him.
Jan 17 â€¢ 
Katherine Krueger
84

Share this post

Discourse Blog
Discourse Blog
No Hell Is Hot Enough for Joe Biden
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
4

Ready for more?

© 2025 Discourse Blog Inc.
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

Create your profile

User's avatar

Only paid subscribers can comment on this post

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Check your email

For your security, we need to re-authenticate you.

Click the link we sent to , or click here to sign in.