Everything you have written sounds normal. Cats tend to pair bond, whether with each other or with a human. When the dynamics shift in a multi-cat and human household there is always an adjustment period, sometimes one that last months. And, not to alarm you, but sometimes there never is full acce…
Everything you have written sounds normal. Cats tend to pair bond, whether with each other or with a human. When the dynamics shift in a multi-cat and human household there is always an adjustment period, sometimes one that last months. And, not to alarm you, but sometimes there never is full acceptance of the new dynamic.
I have had two pairs of female cats who loathed the sight of each other for years. For the first pair it was 8 years, the second pair, 13 years. Only death changed that. This meant hissing, spitting, “get off my blanket NOW!” fights to grumbling and growling as they passed in a room in their later years. Inexplicably though, they often slept curled up next to each other, sleeping peacefully until one woke and found herself next to her nemesis.
What worked for me were timeouts. If the fight was awful, as the last one you described, each cat was put into a bedroom or bathroom for no more than ten minutes. Each time I said “you need a timeout” as I picked up the cat, said in a slightly firm voice but definitely not loud or alarmed. If they were too worked up I would scruff them by the neck and firmly support their back legs so they didn’t overreact (& I didn’t get scratched or nipped at) as I carried them to their separate rooms. Sounds silly maybe to give cats timeouts but it worked. Over time it helped the spats move from all-out to low-boil and after a year or two, depending on the cat’s grasp of the same words spoken right before the time-out, just saying “you need a timeout” resulted in the them stopping their assault on the other. Not quietly. There was always a bit of grumbling (growling, tail snapping) but the fight was over. When that happened I praised each verbally, gave them a scritch between the ears and a small treat. (I mention two pairs of female cats but I’ve had the same hostile reaction between 1 male
-1 female and 2 males.)
What also helps with the adjustment is when the kitten grows up and is the same or close to an equal weight of the others.
There will always be a pecking order and one will always be the alpha - although that can change over time.
I commend you for taking in rescue cats and for sticking with them through the adjustments. Many people don’t. (And to be fair, there are occasions, especially when a feral or near feral cat/kitten is taken in that the adjustment never happens and only escalates.) I wish you and your human/feline household only the best.
I had a cat who could open doors so I put a hook on the outside of the door for the timeouts. To make sure I never forgot the cats were in a timeout I also set a 10 minute alarm to remind me - a soft gentle alarm so as not to scare the cats.
Given that your cats do have good moments tells me that things will improve even if there are two who never like each other when awake. If it’s not going to get better, there aren’t those good moments - it all stays bad and only worsens. That’s rare though. In 30 years of having cats I have had that happen just twice and the first time the cat was 100% feral and the second the cat had been badly abused, starved and was put on my front porch in a box. (I’ve found that in a small town, when people see a cat in a window they tend to use your home as a dumping station for animals they don’t want. It is a despicable human behavior - as is the abuse of an animal.)
This is solid advice. If they're full-on fighting, separating them and shutting the aggressor in the bathroom or a bedroom (or both if they're both being brats) can be very effective.
Ah, the joys of the multi-cat household.
Everything you have written sounds normal. Cats tend to pair bond, whether with each other or with a human. When the dynamics shift in a multi-cat and human household there is always an adjustment period, sometimes one that last months. And, not to alarm you, but sometimes there never is full acceptance of the new dynamic.
I have had two pairs of female cats who loathed the sight of each other for years. For the first pair it was 8 years, the second pair, 13 years. Only death changed that. This meant hissing, spitting, “get off my blanket NOW!” fights to grumbling and growling as they passed in a room in their later years. Inexplicably though, they often slept curled up next to each other, sleeping peacefully until one woke and found herself next to her nemesis.
What worked for me were timeouts. If the fight was awful, as the last one you described, each cat was put into a bedroom or bathroom for no more than ten minutes. Each time I said “you need a timeout” as I picked up the cat, said in a slightly firm voice but definitely not loud or alarmed. If they were too worked up I would scruff them by the neck and firmly support their back legs so they didn’t overreact (& I didn’t get scratched or nipped at) as I carried them to their separate rooms. Sounds silly maybe to give cats timeouts but it worked. Over time it helped the spats move from all-out to low-boil and after a year or two, depending on the cat’s grasp of the same words spoken right before the time-out, just saying “you need a timeout” resulted in the them stopping their assault on the other. Not quietly. There was always a bit of grumbling (growling, tail snapping) but the fight was over. When that happened I praised each verbally, gave them a scritch between the ears and a small treat. (I mention two pairs of female cats but I’ve had the same hostile reaction between 1 male
-1 female and 2 males.)
What also helps with the adjustment is when the kitten grows up and is the same or close to an equal weight of the others.
There will always be a pecking order and one will always be the alpha - although that can change over time.
I commend you for taking in rescue cats and for sticking with them through the adjustments. Many people don’t. (And to be fair, there are occasions, especially when a feral or near feral cat/kitten is taken in that the adjustment never happens and only escalates.) I wish you and your human/feline household only the best.
Ugh, the sleeping situation sounds exactly right. But I will try this time out method, so long as Tangie can't get the door open herself. Thank you!!
I had a cat who could open doors so I put a hook on the outside of the door for the timeouts. To make sure I never forgot the cats were in a timeout I also set a 10 minute alarm to remind me - a soft gentle alarm so as not to scare the cats.
Given that your cats do have good moments tells me that things will improve even if there are two who never like each other when awake. If it’s not going to get better, there aren’t those good moments - it all stays bad and only worsens. That’s rare though. In 30 years of having cats I have had that happen just twice and the first time the cat was 100% feral and the second the cat had been badly abused, starved and was put on my front porch in a box. (I’ve found that in a small town, when people see a cat in a window they tend to use your home as a dumping station for animals they don’t want. It is a despicable human behavior - as is the abuse of an animal.)
I wish you well.
This is solid advice. If they're full-on fighting, separating them and shutting the aggressor in the bathroom or a bedroom (or both if they're both being brats) can be very effective.
Thanks. It’s worked well for me with multiple different cats over the years.