The Catholic Church Is So Washed
The smoke is white and the new pope is...American? What are we doing???
Is the Pope Catholic? Of course!!! And as of today, he’s also…American? For the first time ever in the Church’s long, long history?!
On Thursday, the second day of the conclave, Robert Prevost was elected the next leader of the Catholic Church, taking the papal name Pope Leo XIV. The 267th Pope is 69, was born in Chicago, and holds a degree in mathematics from Villanova University (get this guy on the Knicks!!). He spent much of his career doing missionary work in South America and is seen as a leader who will continue the work of the late Pope Francis, hopefully especially in areas like this one.
In his first address from the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica (in Italian, naturally) Pope Leo XIV thanked the cardinals who elected him “to walk together with you as a united church, always seeking peace and justice.”
It also seems like the new Pope isn’t a big fan of American Vice President JD Vance, which I love:
There were many other reactions from smart people all over the world:
And from your source for ALL breaking news:
As a Protestant, this all means very little to me. But I recognize the significance, and more than anything else, I appreciate this reaction:
Necessary follow up to that one, but I agree with the underlying sentiment completely—because it gets to the heart of the matter. The Pope should not be an American. “American Pope” should not be words we hear, read, or say. The papacy is for other people.
Choosing an American, even a JD Vance-hating American, is just fundamentally wrong and uncomfortable, and it confirms the Catholic Church as one of our most washed institutions.
Still, congrats to the 1.4 billion Catholics on your new guy!
you're wrong. it's important the pope is an American at a time when America is in peril. in the 1980s the Church wanted to contain atheist Communism and chose a Polish pope almost like he was a sleeper cell. it's the same now.
Hell, I'm just happy (well, as I don't really care who the pope is, I care the same way I care about Marz as PM in Germany, so maybe "appeased"?) that it wasn't that Hungarian ghoul who I figured was the odds-on favorite: Definitely appears to be a MAGA-ish chud, would reel back the reforms of Bergoglio (as such they were), and wouldn't be one of those icky non-whites (because, who's kidding whom here). My John Paul I brain actually figured that Ratzinger's cabal had the election already in hand, which was why the conclave took only a couple of days.
Maybe they chose an American to negotiate a better trading deal and knock down the tariffs a bit?