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We Want Your Top Midterm Freaks!!!
Help us find the biggest nutjobs trying to gain power in American politics today.
Freaks! There sure are a lot of them out there, huh? We live in a golden age of political freaks, with more and more cropping up each and every time there’s a special congressional election, or Republican gubernatorial primary, and so on. And with the midterm elections coming up, freaks have a better chance of gaining power than they ever have.
Take a look at the picture up at the top of this blog. We’ve got Michele Fiore, who thinks cancer is a “fungus” and is running to be the governor of Nevada; Ryan Kelley, who hopes his recent FBI arrest won’t derail his bid to be the next governor of Michigan; and New York congressional hopeful Carl Paladino, who is only kinda sorry he went on the radio and said how much he loved Hitler. And those are just three examples off the tops of our heads! I would even venture to say that there are more freaks out there in public life now than at any other moment in human history (do not fact check me on this).
So here at Discourse Blog, we’ve decided to selflessly compile the biggest freaks in the country into a “who’s who” of total nutters for you, the non-freak public, to enjoy. But with so many freaks out there, it can be hard to keep track of them all — which is where you come in. We need your help identifying the biggest freaks in your political neck of the woods. We’re talkin’ the real creme de la crap of local political weirdos, psychos, loonies, and kooks who are out there trying to get your vote in 2022. Plain old evil isn’t enough. They’ve gotta have that extra spark of deranged inspiration — the sort of je ne sais quoi that elevates a normal political goblin to a total freak-a-leek.
Let me give you an example from my home state of Minnesota: There’s no question that former Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann is one of the more ghoulish politicians in recent memory, what with the overt xenophobia and homophobia and general slate of terrible conservative leanings. Boring! But — getting caught spying on a gay rights rally by literally hiding in shrubbery? Folks? We’ve got ourselves a real honest to god freak on our hands.
So, here’s what we’re asking: between now and next Tuesday, please send us your midterm freaks, from school board candidates to county commissioners to municipal park board members all the way up to the hallowed halls of Congress… any freak will do. They can be in office already or just running for their first terrible term in 2022—either one works! If you’ve got a midterm freak you want us to highlight, shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and make your case for why your local loon deserves the national spotlight. (You can also leave a suggestion in the comments below.) Then we’ll do a followup post featuring your freakiest picks.
Freaks. We want them. We need them. We can’t wait to share them all. Let’s get freaky.
Cover image: (L-R) Michelle Fiore, Ryan Kelley, and Carl Paladino. Illustration by Samantha Grasso. Photos via Audrey C. Tiernan-Pool/Getty Images, JEFF KOWALSKY/AFP via Getty Images, Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call. Stock photos via alengo, Peter Zelei Images, Tuomas A. Lehtinen via Getty Images.