FOWL HYSTERIA 2025: ROUND ONE
IT'S BACK. THANK GOD.
Wait. Stop for just a second. Do you feel that? Do you hear that???
That’s the sound of hundreds of millions of people around the world losing their minds with happiness. Why? Because, for the third time ever, FOWL HYSTERIA IS BACK.
Let’s repeat that. FOWL. HYSTERIA. IS. BACK!!!!!!!
We’re pretty excited too.
Now, there are about 5,000 more of you getting our emails than at this time last year—thanks for subscribing, by the way, love each and every one of you—so some explanations might be in order for the newcomers.
Fowl Hysteria is the world’s first-ever bracket-based bird tournament. It happens every March. Why March? If you’re the NCAA’s lawyers reading this, absolutely no reason at all!!! We randomly select 32 of the birds that have been spotlighted in Bird of the Week and put them beak to beak, wing to wing, feather to feather. Any bird we’ve ever featured since BOTW started way back in 2021 is eligible! And over the next month or so, you, our wonderful readers, vote for your faves until one bird is left clutching the coveted Fowl Hysteria trophy in its triumphant claws. That’s right—it’s all down to you!
This year, we’ve gone deeper into our archives than ever before, and we’ve come back with some of the wildest, most intense matchups in the history of the tournament.
Let’s see the bracket. These are all birds that have never featured before in Fowl Hysteria.
Hell yeah. Let’s talk about the rules.
The Rules
There are 32 birds, so that means 16 different matchups for this first round. We’ve created polls for every single matchup, and made sure to provide you with the links to the relevant bird blogs so you can refresh your memory if you need. All you have to do is vote for the bird of your choice in each poll! You have a week to vote, and then, every Friday, we’ll narrow the field down until we reach our final.
If you are reading this in your email, you might get the “[Message clipped] View entire message” uhhh message because there are simply too many good birds for email to handle. Just click the link at the bottom of the email, which will take you to the complete post.
Should We Do This????
Should we????
Yes. Here we go. ROUND ONE. LET’S DO THIS.
Lanner Falcon vs. White Bellbird
A devastatingly suave killer squares off against literally the loudest bird on the planet. Hold on to your freaking hats!!!!
Common Loon vs. Northern Cardinal
When Caitlin learned about this pairing, she pronounced it a “battle of American classics.” Which is very true—they don’t get more classic than a loon and a cardinal. But ONLY ONE CAN WIN.
Mallard vs. Himalayan Monal
An iconic duck meets a stone-cold stunner. BIRDS!
Regent Bowerbird vs. Narrow-Billed Tody
The yellows on that bowerbird! The greens and reds on that tody! This is the pinnacle of evolution right here. But you have to choose one.
Western Tanager vs. Choco Toucan
Wait, maybe this is the pinnacle of evolution??? Honestly it’s kind of messed up that we’re making you pick between the blazingly beautiful tanager and the ultra-cutie toucan. But such is life, and such is Fowl Hysteria.
Steller’s Jay vs. Black-Winged Stilt
A mud-loving blue bombshell faces a water-dweller with incredible getaway sticks. The earth contains both of these wonderful things! But Round 2 can only contain one.
Green Turaco vs. Chinstrap Penguins
The green turaco is a West African wonder that apparently contains the only real red and green coloring of any bird. Roy and Silo are two adorable and gay chinstrap penguins. Over to you.
Long-Tailed Paradise Whydah vs. Great Blue Heron
Oh my god. THAT BIRD HAS A LONG TAIL! Oh my god. THAT BIRD IS A BLUE HERON!
Greater Flamingo vs. American Kestrel
Could two birds be more sensational? Flamingo…kestrel….HOW are you going to choose????
Green-Barred Woodpecker vs. Capuchinbird
“Woodpeckers are objectively awesome,” Jack wrote about one of these birds in 2021. “No one can match the freak of this bird, don’t even try!” Caitlin wrote about the other bird in 2024.
Kākāpō vs. Muscovy Duck
Two HUGE weirdos! The nocturnal parrot of New Zealand! A big duck with an insane face! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
Gray-Crowned Crane vs. Bald Eagle
Two very different kinds of breathtaking here. Crane vs. eagle—you decide. (And to be clear, the bald eagle is NOT a representative of America for the purposes of this competition. We would never!!!)
Mousebird vs. Siberian Jay
Two reader suggestions here. The legendary Meave touted the glorious mousebird in our very first BOTW a whole four years ago. Our Chief Bird Analyst Elias Markee-Ratner flagged the extremely cute Siberian jay a few months ago.
Bushtit vs. Killdeer
Look at the little puffball askdjha;dfjahdj. Wait—look at the stripy guy a;ldgkja;sdjfg;lksjdg! Also one has raves, and one is a beautiful singer. Again: BIRDS.
Turkey Vulture vs. Red Junglefowl
Could two birds be any less like each other? Probably….but also no. The world’s most towering carrion-eater meets the bird that spawned the chicken (really).
Bearded Reedling vs. Emperor Penguin
And FINALLY. A tiny cutie that is the definition of adorable tries to defeat…well, it’s an emperor penguin. You KNOW their deal. But do you KNOW who will win? Not till next week.
OVER.
TO.
YOU.
See you next week. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE. WE LOVE VOTING.
A reminder: you can check out our complete Bird of the Week list here, and get in touch with your bird suggestions at hello@discourseblog.com.
Hi. I’m doing the bird bracket. What fun. But I love great blue herons and they got the worst photo in the whole lot. Can you all change it? Need help getting a better pic?
BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS